This evening I sat for a while watching ripples of water in the bay. I got up and started walking to take a bus home and I saw this fountain that was turned off and the water was still. I looked at it and thought how pathetic it seemed in comparison to the swaying ripples of water that I had just seen. I thought about how life-giving God is and how he gives us surprises, or little joys in our days- they don't have to be much, but they can add so much to our lives if we accept them (kind of like the little ripples in the water). I thought about how we as humans often take the life out of things. We forget to take delight in the little things and our life becomes flat and lifeless.
Later, I started dreaming about my future and then dismissed it as fantasies. Then, I sensed God say "Why do you dismiss those dreams so quickly? Don't you know that I created you to dream? Don't you know that I have dreams too?" He reminded me of his dream- to have every man, woman, and child with him in heaven. He has spent enormous amounts of love creating each one of us and wants to continue to pour out his love on us. Wow! what an awesome dream and responsibility on us who do know him to tell those who do not yet know him. As I continued to sit and ponder, I thought about how some of our dreams come true, and that is great. Some do not turn out the way we planned, but we can either be disappointed and frustrated by it, or we can make it into something even more beautiful than what our dream was. Now, to make my realities even more beautiful than my dreams...
Friday, August 31, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
A slow purification process
So often I get frustrated when I repent of my sins and tell
God that I am going to try to change and then continue to make the same
mistakes. However, this evening as I was thinking on that, I realized that even
though I do, over the years it becomes less of a temptation and I start to
improve in whatever area I am struggling with. I was reminded that sanctification
is not simply a one-time event where we are forgiven and immediately change our
ways. Rather, sanctification is a process that takes time. God reminded me of
the disciples, and how they doubted Jesus over and over again. Through years of
the disciples not demonstrating faith, Jesus remained faithful, until finally
they had enough faith to sacrifice their lives for His sake.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Finding God
Jeremiah 29:13-14 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord
These past two weeks have been very long. I miss my class from last year a lot. Partially I think because they were my first class, but also because they were a lot of fun. The class I have now is full of large personalities and I have not yet figured out how to control them. Even when they seem to be doing better in my class, they act up in every other class. Anyways, all that leads to a teacher that is exhausted at the end of the day and in search of refuge. God, as always is faithful in allowing himself to be found.
Please be praying for my student with leukemia who is going into treatment on Monday and will not be in school for 2-3 weeks. He turns 9 tomorrow. Also be praying for two of the third grade students in the other class who do not know the Lord.
These past two weeks have been very long. I miss my class from last year a lot. Partially I think because they were my first class, but also because they were a lot of fun. The class I have now is full of large personalities and I have not yet figured out how to control them. Even when they seem to be doing better in my class, they act up in every other class. Anyways, all that leads to a teacher that is exhausted at the end of the day and in search of refuge. God, as always is faithful in allowing himself to be found.
God sightings these first two weeks of school
- Having a group of teachers that gets together and focuses on eating healthy by fixing food for the week together every weekend.
- Being prayed for by the Korean church where I volunteer.
- Having a refreshing and restoring weekend with my church.
- Building a great relationship with one of the third grade mothers during out church retreat.
- Reading prayer journals of students who earnestly are praising God for who He is as the creator of the universe.
- Having staff devotions every week with videos of Francis Chan.
- Having an amazing prayer group with other ladies that work at our school.
- Being reminded of the image of God in each of my students as they presented posters about themselves.
- Seeing how interested my students are in each others' lives, even if it means 13 of them are asking questions at the same time and none of them can be understood.
- Meeting up with an old family friend, who was incredibly encouraging and having dinner after an especially tiring day at school.
- Hearing from the doctor that even though my foot is in pain, it has healed really fast.
- After a Starbucks conversation, walking home and realizing that I believe Abba has put a number of things in place to lead me to Indonesia in a few years (I really have no idea when, but I'll wait on His perfect timing).
- Seeing the courage of a student in my class who is not only going through chemo, but willing to share about all the details with his classmates.
- Watching students decide to help each other with their work after I had told them they could draw or read, but had never even suggested helping other students.
Please be praying for my student with leukemia who is going into treatment on Monday and will not be in school for 2-3 weeks. He turns 9 tomorrow. Also be praying for two of the third grade students in the other class who do not know the Lord.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
A refreshing weekend
After a tiring first week of school, I left for Malaysia on a church retreat. It was a wonderful weekend of worship, fun, rest, and learning. On our way there, God answered prayers by clearing the roads so we could get there quickly. We were the only ones at the border crossing!!
As a church, we were reminded of the 5 pillars on which our church was built. The pastor talked about being intentionally gospel centered and we played a game in which we were to apply the gospel to real-life situations.
After a sermon on the importance of knowing God's word deeply, we answered some Bible trivia and after a sermon about being a community on mission, we played a game called the underground church. This game involved Roman soldiers trying to capture Christians and stop them from building a church, Christians who were trying to convert all the non-Christians through 'prayer' and build an underground church, church planters who planned where the church would be, and non-Christians who were focused on gaining 10 treasures (one of which ended up being true joy, which they could only gain by becoming a Christian). We also got to hear the mission plan of the church that is focused on planting churches in cities in the surrounding area.
My favorite service was about experiential faith and the importance of not only knowing about God through his word, but through a relationship with him. Through this relationship, God blesses us with Spiritual gifts that we are to use to bless others. As believers, we are to be desperately dependent on God, eagerly expecting him to work, diligent in our pursuit of godliness, and desiring of God.
Finally, we ended our retreat hearing about the importance of city renewal. we were reminded of the truth of Tim Keller's quote: "In cities you have more image of God per square inch than anywhere else in the world." How awesome it is that we get to invest in the image of God! We watched a video about Singapore and the huge ministry opportunities this small nation has. Some statistics: Singapore is in the top 10 most wealthy nations in the world, but it is one of the top countries for economic disparity between the rich and the poor. 26% of the national budget goes to national defense, while only 0.6% goes to social services. These are the only ones I remember, since I am not good with statistics, but it makes me really excited to be living in a country where there are so many needs to be met. Oh! and Singapore is #2 in Asia for most unhappy working people.
As a church, we were reminded of the 5 pillars on which our church was built. The pastor talked about being intentionally gospel centered and we played a game in which we were to apply the gospel to real-life situations.
After a sermon on the importance of knowing God's word deeply, we answered some Bible trivia and after a sermon about being a community on mission, we played a game called the underground church. This game involved Roman soldiers trying to capture Christians and stop them from building a church, Christians who were trying to convert all the non-Christians through 'prayer' and build an underground church, church planters who planned where the church would be, and non-Christians who were focused on gaining 10 treasures (one of which ended up being true joy, which they could only gain by becoming a Christian). We also got to hear the mission plan of the church that is focused on planting churches in cities in the surrounding area.
My favorite service was about experiential faith and the importance of not only knowing about God through his word, but through a relationship with him. Through this relationship, God blesses us with Spiritual gifts that we are to use to bless others. As believers, we are to be desperately dependent on God, eagerly expecting him to work, diligent in our pursuit of godliness, and desiring of God.
Finally, we ended our retreat hearing about the importance of city renewal. we were reminded of the truth of Tim Keller's quote: "In cities you have more image of God per square inch than anywhere else in the world." How awesome it is that we get to invest in the image of God! We watched a video about Singapore and the huge ministry opportunities this small nation has. Some statistics: Singapore is in the top 10 most wealthy nations in the world, but it is one of the top countries for economic disparity between the rich and the poor. 26% of the national budget goes to national defense, while only 0.6% goes to social services. These are the only ones I remember, since I am not good with statistics, but it makes me really excited to be living in a country where there are so many needs to be met. Oh! and Singapore is #2 in Asia for most unhappy working people.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Confessions of a Third grade teacher
The first day of school is quite an exciting time of the year. It's full of
energy, life, fears and goals. Today was the first time I have had a first day
of school as a teacher in my own classroom. Yesterday, I was supposed to write
a professional development plan for myself, in which I create a goal for myself
and write out how I am going to accomplish this goal. However, as I prepared to
start school and worked on this at the same time, I panicked. I started
thinking about all the things I did not do well last year and how much work I
still had to get done before school started. Oh, what Satan can do when he
pulls your mind towards all the negative things of life! Pretty soon I was in
tears while I skyped with my parents,
believing I was a horrible teacher and doubting if I should keep teaching.
Thankfully, God is a big God and as soon as I got off skype,
I was encouraged by my roommates singing worship songs.
When I got to school, I was still very nervous. Then, when I went to pick up my students to bring them up to my classroom, I started to relax a little as I greeted students. As the day went on, not only did I become more comfortable, but so did the students. They began to become fairly chatty... something we are going to have to crack down on this week. I am very excited for the energy this class has and look forward to a full year of seeing God work in awesome ways.
Our theme this year is “build up” and is focused on 1 Thessalonians 2:8, which says “so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” I am very excited to see how students learn to build each other up and how God works in their lives this year. Please pray for the students in my class as I believe many of them have a very low self-esteem. Pray that I might speak God’s words of love into their hearts that they might grow to know how precious they are in His sight. Also, please pray for protection over the devil’s schemes to tear us down- both in my life and the lives of my students.
When I got to school, I was still very nervous. Then, when I went to pick up my students to bring them up to my classroom, I started to relax a little as I greeted students. As the day went on, not only did I become more comfortable, but so did the students. They began to become fairly chatty... something we are going to have to crack down on this week. I am very excited for the energy this class has and look forward to a full year of seeing God work in awesome ways.
Our theme this year is “build up” and is focused on 1 Thessalonians 2:8, which says “so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” I am very excited to see how students learn to build each other up and how God works in their lives this year. Please pray for the students in my class as I believe many of them have a very low self-esteem. Pray that I might speak God’s words of love into their hearts that they might grow to know how precious they are in His sight. Also, please pray for protection over the devil’s schemes to tear us down- both in my life and the lives of my students.
God sightings today...
... receiving
a teacher's survival kit (http://familycrafts.about.com/od/giftsforteacher/ss/Teachers_Survival_Kit.htm)
...seeing a student erase what he had
done and work more carefully when I told another student that it didn't matter
if he couldn't draw well as long as he did his best.
...receiving a Starbucks frappucino
in the middle of my teaching day.
...listening to students talk about
how they saw each other doing good things throughout the day. It is amazing
what students observe and how great they are at encouraging each other when we
give them time to do so.
…on my way home from school, having a
teacher (who is also a parent of a student in my class) stop and encourage me.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Returning to Singapore
I have been back in
Singapore 2 days and already realize that I have forgotten many things about
living in this county. This morning for example, I was paying for some
groceries and I almost froze when I couldn't remember the pin for my debit
card. What if I typed it wrong? That would be embarrassing! Thankfully, I
did remember and got through the line without a problem, but it gave me quite
the panic.
After being in a country
where you never get the right of way as a pedestrian, even when your light is
green, I had a little trouble tonight on my way home. As I walked home, I came
up to a crosswalk where pedestrians are always given the right-of-way. I paused
and waited for the car that was stopped right in front of the crosswalk,
expecting him to go, until I finally realized that I wouldn't get run over if I
walked in front of this car.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Summer Summary
This summer, I visited family and friends in three continents, 8 cities and took 11 plane flights.
Singapore
Three days before the school year ended, I broke my foot. Thankfully friends that live close to school let me stay at their apartment so that I could get a ride to school more easily. Once school was over, I stayed in Singapore for another week. I was very grateful for this week in which I was able to get accustomed to using crutches, take my time cleaning out my classroom, rest and spend some time on my own.
Then, I flew to Chicago through Seoul, South Korea. I was so grateful that our school nurse was on the same flight from Singapore to Seoul, since I was nervous about traveling with a broken foot.
Chicago
In Chicago, I spent 2 weeks with my brother, his wife and four kids and my sister. We spent many nights staying up late playing games or watching movies.
One day my sister took me shopping and I was trying to push myself around in a wheelchair and got stuck between clothing racks. She also took my nephew, niece and I to Indiana to visit our grandmother for 4 days. It was fun to watch my uncle take the kids out to drive tractors and bale hay.
I went to the hospital and got my crutches and caste replaced with a boot to walk it. After 4 weeks where I had not walked a step, it took a while to adjust.
During this time, I started reading Nehemiah. What an amazing book, full of God's work and goodness and a reminder of our job to respond as Nehemiah, with prayer, diligence, and preparedness to fight the enemy.
After this visit, I flew to Memphis, Tennessee for a conference nearby in Mississippi.
Memphis
In Memphis, I learned more about what it means to be a Third Culture Kid (TCK) and how I can help other TCKs who are growing up with so many challenges and opportunities. I met a wonderful woman named Libby Stephens, who has a huge passion for TCKs and was grateful for her insights and understanding.
I was challenged by those around me as well. One thing most TCKs struggle with is fitting in to a culture. However, when I get to spend time with other TCKs and talk openly about the struggles of a TCK, I often forget about those around who do not relate to this experience. I forget that we are all human and struggle in different ways. I forget that they may want to fit in to the TCK culture when that is the dominant culture, just as I want to fit into their culture under other circumstances.
During this time, we studied 1 Peter 1. I was reminded that we are elected to be strangers- not to belong in this world, so that we can obey Christ and spread His word throughout the nations. Through this there are struggles, but we are called to put our hope in Jesus Christ, no matter the circumstances.
Colombia
After not seeing my dad's family in 5 years, I got to see all but one of my cousins and meet two cousins that I had never met before. What a blessing that was! My family went to the beach and enjoyed beautiful waves. While at the beach we stayed at the hotel where a beauty pageant was going on.
During the last two weeks of my time in Colombia, I got to see the great ministry that my parents have in Colombia. My dad is teaching at the seminary there and I only heard great things about his class. More importantly, however, both my parents have a huge ministry with the students they live with on the seminary campus. They often have students over to their house for meals, they have provided some students with work, and are building relationships to invest in the lives of so many students hungry to know more about the Lord. What an amazing privilege it was to see my parents who have gone through so much and know the Lord so deeply being able to invest in these students who are so thirsty for Him.
In general, this summer has been a huge blessing in allowing me to rest after a hectic year in Singapore. Besides what I have already written, something I have been reflecting on all summer has been the following:
I will never belong to a place or community on this earth completely. Even within my family- my extended family keeps asking me when I will come 'home' to live and my immediate family does not always understand why I don't come live closer. I'm a Colombian who speaks with an American accent, an American who does not understand the worldview of the American culture. I have lived in Australia and Japan, but know very little about either culture. All this is a great privilege that I have. The privilege of understanding the outcast, the privilege of reaching the nations, the privilege of living by faith in a heavenly home, rather than relying on an earthly home.
Singapore
Three days before the school year ended, I broke my foot. Thankfully friends that live close to school let me stay at their apartment so that I could get a ride to school more easily. Once school was over, I stayed in Singapore for another week. I was very grateful for this week in which I was able to get accustomed to using crutches, take my time cleaning out my classroom, rest and spend some time on my own.
Then, I flew to Chicago through Seoul, South Korea. I was so grateful that our school nurse was on the same flight from Singapore to Seoul, since I was nervous about traveling with a broken foot.
Chicago
In Chicago, I spent 2 weeks with my brother, his wife and four kids and my sister. We spent many nights staying up late playing games or watching movies.
One day my sister took me shopping and I was trying to push myself around in a wheelchair and got stuck between clothing racks. She also took my nephew, niece and I to Indiana to visit our grandmother for 4 days. It was fun to watch my uncle take the kids out to drive tractors and bale hay.
I went to the hospital and got my crutches and caste replaced with a boot to walk it. After 4 weeks where I had not walked a step, it took a while to adjust.
During this time, I started reading Nehemiah. What an amazing book, full of God's work and goodness and a reminder of our job to respond as Nehemiah, with prayer, diligence, and preparedness to fight the enemy.
After this visit, I flew to Memphis, Tennessee for a conference nearby in Mississippi.
Memphis
In Memphis, I learned more about what it means to be a Third Culture Kid (TCK) and how I can help other TCKs who are growing up with so many challenges and opportunities. I met a wonderful woman named Libby Stephens, who has a huge passion for TCKs and was grateful for her insights and understanding.
I was challenged by those around me as well. One thing most TCKs struggle with is fitting in to a culture. However, when I get to spend time with other TCKs and talk openly about the struggles of a TCK, I often forget about those around who do not relate to this experience. I forget that we are all human and struggle in different ways. I forget that they may want to fit in to the TCK culture when that is the dominant culture, just as I want to fit into their culture under other circumstances.
During this time, we studied 1 Peter 1. I was reminded that we are elected to be strangers- not to belong in this world, so that we can obey Christ and spread His word throughout the nations. Through this there are struggles, but we are called to put our hope in Jesus Christ, no matter the circumstances.
Colombia
After not seeing my dad's family in 5 years, I got to see all but one of my cousins and meet two cousins that I had never met before. What a blessing that was! My family went to the beach and enjoyed beautiful waves. While at the beach we stayed at the hotel where a beauty pageant was going on.
During the last two weeks of my time in Colombia, I got to see the great ministry that my parents have in Colombia. My dad is teaching at the seminary there and I only heard great things about his class. More importantly, however, both my parents have a huge ministry with the students they live with on the seminary campus. They often have students over to their house for meals, they have provided some students with work, and are building relationships to invest in the lives of so many students hungry to know more about the Lord. What an amazing privilege it was to see my parents who have gone through so much and know the Lord so deeply being able to invest in these students who are so thirsty for Him.
In general, this summer has been a huge blessing in allowing me to rest after a hectic year in Singapore. Besides what I have already written, something I have been reflecting on all summer has been the following:
I will never belong to a place or community on this earth completely. Even within my family- my extended family keeps asking me when I will come 'home' to live and my immediate family does not always understand why I don't come live closer. I'm a Colombian who speaks with an American accent, an American who does not understand the worldview of the American culture. I have lived in Australia and Japan, but know very little about either culture. All this is a great privilege that I have. The privilege of understanding the outcast, the privilege of reaching the nations, the privilege of living by faith in a heavenly home, rather than relying on an earthly home.
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