An adventurous start to the day

So, it is only 7:40 in the morning and I have already started my day off with an adventure. This morning, I walked to the bus stop and was waiting for the bus and apparently was really tired, because I just got on the next bus that came my way. It happened to be a bus that would take me to school, but not the usual way that I take, so when it took a strange turn, I got off of it. I thought about getting back on when I saw which bus it was, but then realized that the bus that I generally take was right behind it. What I forgot to take into account was that I had turned in the wrong direction. So, I got on this bus and started riding it and was wondering if I was going the right way, when it finally got to the bus interchange and confirmed my fears. I had taken the right bus in the wrong direction. Thankfully, I leave early enough for school that I was able to get on the right bus in the right direction and still be here on time, but I don't have much time to get work done before 17 small bodies flood my classroom. As I write this, I am reminded of what we talked about in bible study yesterday relating to Hebrews 12:1. We discussed the phrase "let us throw off everything that hinders." We talked about how it is often good things that hinder us and make us focus on those things, rather than the goal, which is Christ. Often we are on the right bus heading in the wrong direction. We do the right things, but for the wrong reasons. It makes me ponder where my goal is? What direction am I heading? Why am I doing the things that I do? Is it to glorify God, or seek approval from others?

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

I was watching the movie 'Courageous' tonight and it is so inspiring- for fathers... One of my favorite scenes is where Adam is doing his research about what it means to be a godly father and he says that he never knew how much the bible says about being a father. It made me wonder what the bible says about me in my stage of life. Then, I started wondering what that really means. I'm not a teen any more, I'm not a parent, or a wife. As I was looking at the books related to the movie, I noticed that there is a book for men- not me... a book for women... mainly about being a mother and wife, and a book for teens. I'm not trying to complain, but there are so many single adults who do not have much direction in their life. We either invest our lives in trying to get to the married stage of life, or marry ourselves off to our work, or having fun. What does the bible say about being a single adult? As far as I know that was not at all cultural in biblical times, so there is not much there, but maybe I should look it up. What can we as a church do to lead our single adults to live bold, godly lives? As singles, our houses our small, but we can still serve the Lord.

A sprinter's heart

I have realized lately that I am a sprinter at heart. When I was little, I remember I would do pretty well when it came to short races, but long distance races were exhausting and frustrating to me. I love swimming fast, quick spurts, but if you ask me to swim laps for very long, I get bored and frustrated.

The same is true about most things in life. I get super excited about doing something and I'll start on it, but if it takes very long to do, I won't complete it. I love getting involved in a lot of things, but I'm not very good at being consistent. I like to experience things for a short while, but then I give up. I will keep my room clean for a short time, but soon it is messy again. I will try to learn something new, but as soon as it gets frustrating, I am out. I get really involved in a new ministry for a while, but soon I get distracted with other new and exciting things to do.

That is one reason I am so amazed by God's faithfulness. Even though I mess up over and over again, God's doesn't try to move on to someone who might be better. He keeps working on me. Why? I'll never know.

My goal for this year is to be more consistent in the things I set out to do. Whether it's helping with the middle school youth group, keeping my room clean, losing weight, or learning how to surf. If I set out to do something, I don't want to give up on it.

The blessing of family

There are many days when I walk home and am grateful that I do not have the responsibility to take care of a family. I'm already not very good of taking care of myself, how would I have time to worry about a family?

Then, I get reminded of the beauty of family. I experience a home with kids running around and a mother cooking delicious food. I see an old couple walking along the road and talking. I can't even express the incredible longing that lies in my heart. The longing to live in a community, where I come home to a family that will love me through thick and thin, on the good days and the bad days. The longing that I have always had to have a close relationship with my grandparents who could teach and guide me. The longing to have someone to vent to and someone to listen to. The longing for a comforting lap on which to lay my tired head.

So I turn to God, the one called love, who leads, who guides, who listens, and comforts. I turn to the God who has a plan that is for the good of those who love him.

Messages Magnifying His Majesty

Recently, God has been teaching me a lot.

At work, my class has been very hard to handle, many of them have been absent, so it has been overwhelming trying to get anything taught or any work done, since I am always either dealing with discipline issues or catching students up from missing days or weeks of school. However, through this, God has reminded me of the importance of being completely dependent upon Him. He has shown me how truly, no matter how frustrating a person may be, each individual is made to reflect His image in their own unique way. He has reminded me of the importance of giving my all and having a joyful heart in the midst of hard times.

At church we have been going through the study of Exodus. It has been a good reminder of God's love for us, His power, His atoning sacrifice, and His constant presence even when He seems distant. I was thinking this evening about the Israelites and their 400 years of enslavement and comparing it to the 400 years of silence between Malachi and when Jesus was born. In both situations, I am sure people wondered where God was, as sometimes I wonder in my own situations. Yet, then God comes as the "I am." Christ comes as Emmanuel (God with us). He is existent and present in our lives.

In a staff devotions at school, God keeps reminding me of the importance of living each day bring God the glory. This also connects to the Exodus study, as we have talked about how God delivers the Israelites to demonstrate His glory.

Also, with His little nudges each day, God keeps reminding me that it is not about me. That he prefers me to serve those around me through small acts of love than to work on showing that I am a great teacher or doing things for me to enjoy. He is reminding me that I need to poor myself out in love to serve those around me. As I have been overwhelmed with making sure that I eat and sleep and still get at least some of my work done, I have not spent the energy I should in serving God in this way yet.

God has also been blessing me in great ways.
- While my class has been challenging, they seem to be growing and maturing and this week they behaved incredibly well and we were able to do many fun things in class and get a lot of work done as well.
- Since I broke my foot in May, my foot has either been in a cast or been in pain. This week, I started going to physiotherapy, and it has improved tremendously. This weekend, I plan to go jogging at least once to see how it does.
- God is allowing me opportunities to get more involved with my church, which has helped me feel so much more at home.
- The 4th/5th grade girls' basketball team that I am coaching has a great attitude and loves playing, even if they are playing a team that is much bigger and rougher than they are. Our team was moved to a harder division, which has been really challenging, but I think will stretch them and make them better basketball players in the end.
- Today we had middle school girls help out in our classroom. They were a huge blessing as they helped my students get unfinished work done, prayed with my students, and then played games with them.
- God has allowed me opportunities to get to know my staff members more, through prayer groups and dinners out, which has been phenomenal.
- Even though my class is hard to control, they love participating, even in Bible, which was a struggle last year. 

The road to Emmaus

This past week was the first week that our church started a series on Exodus. I started reading a book called redemption, talking about the story of Exodus through the lens of God's story of redemption. The introduction emphasized the point that we often try to make ourselves the center of our story. However, the story is really about God. I have been challenged to look back on the events of my life and put them in perspective with who God is and his story of redemption; to take each moment and remember that I am not the center, but God is using what I am going through to bring glory to himself; to remember that God has a great plan that I can put my hope in daily. Today, I reflected on different ways God has manifested himself through my life (i.e. as a restorer, through the way he always heals my broken bones and other injuries). How awesome it is to just look and see God in history, even if it is just a small part of His great story. In church this morning, I was challenged to respond to God with a willing and joyful heart, because ultimately every moment of my life is about Him. Isn't that what Jesus was telling the disciples on the road to Emmaus?

Oh, but how I forget that He is the center of it all! Every day, I get overwhelmed with the work I need to do, I put my desires in things other than Christ alone, I fear the future. God has already written the story, and I need to seek Him first. Then everything else will fall into place. I need to realize, that I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but God has graciously chosen to weave me into His story.

What a Barabbas I am!

This morning I was reading the end of Matthew and it hit me again how similar I am to Barabbas and how awesome God's grace is. Like Barabbas, I have committed numerous treacheries against God. The only difference, is his were that everyone knew about. Christ, in his grace died and in doing so, saved Barabbas from his death as a criminal, and me from my death as a sinner. How great is God's grace!